When i look out this chest to see
The yesterday of what i used to be
Searching for little love we could borrow
Watching the ripples of soon tomorrow

I feel sunshine at the rainbows end
Something you gave to me my dear friend
Flying through the sky in a calm breath
Taking in the noisy life before death

I feel your hand still pressed in mine
And i’m glad to hear that you’re doing fine
After we escaped from this house
That we slowly burnt to the ground

Your intense loving was all that I’d need
Even as this soft heart continued to bleed
I miss our pact of guileless felicity
When did you and I begin to lose trust in ‘the we’

Darling i’m lying on the moon
And i’m planning jump down real soon
Because my head is in a total mess
And waiting no longer makes sense

This monkey weighs heavily on my back
And I think i’m about to break because I lack
Mama’s sweet loving: chicken with mashed potatoes
And baby’s warm hugs, kisses and good morning hellos

Buried alongside ‘I love you so much’
And the hurt that ‘I had to leave’ behind
To fertilize this ‘new adventure’ that keeps me terrified
All over me, i’m ‘completely satisfied’

There’s a valley of God between ‘I exist’
and ‘You do too’ clouded by mist
There’s a sea of love between ‘the day we met’
And ‘till the end’, it’s ripples we soon forget

In your arms I’m lost
like a sparrow post-deluge.
And if i’m not found,
will you remember how we,
loved with our feet on the ground?

I can see your light
shining through the desperate gloom.
There’s no will in me
to put up a rousing fight.
My love know, I’ll see you soon

I recall faintly
violent dreams
and crude awakenings.
I forget feeling
a growing void
of life without meaning.

Can we pick back up
broken pieces
to repair this tea cup?
Will you be willing
to spare your gold
to mend my faults?

This quiet heart wants
sweet loving
peace and understanding.
It leans out for you
and beats gently
for a world without war

– For Marianne (and her hidden love)